Failing my RelativeOffset program
July 30, 2008
Posted by CindyW in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 12 comments
Lately positive vibes are bouncing around the green blosphere as many are forming APLS, yahoo groups, and book clubs. There are also a few that vent their frustrations, about the incredibly incompetent Bubbles and about the down trodden folks who have lost any interest in caring for themselves and their dwelling.
I feel the positive vibe, I do. But I also have some BIG griping to do. So here it goes.
We all know carbon offset - a financial instrument representing a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions. It “alleviates” some guilt for people like me who occasionally use up a bunch of energy jetting across the Pacific Ocean.
As a spoof, CheatNeutral was born – it is all about offsetting infidelity. The founders of the website believe that carbon offset is as much of a joke as cheating offset. One of the convoluted examples they give is:
“Steve and Lisa met while on holiday in Spain, and quickly fell head over heels for each other. That Christmas, at his office party, Steve got drunk and unavoidably repeatedly cheated on Lisa with Cheri, a co-worker. He paid Cheatneutral just £2.50 and we invested his money in Alex, a single man with no prospect of finding a partner. In return for the payments, Alex agreed to remain single.
Thanks to Cheatneutral, Steve was able to come clean about his cheating to Lisa, and when he presented her with the Cheatneutral certificate they realised they wanted to get married. Their wedding is taking place in the summer. Steve continues to regularly cheat on Lisa and Cheatneutral continues to fund projects like Alex with his offset payments.”
Secretively I too have a program running at the back of my mind - RelativeOffset. Not that I am a green super hero, but compared to my brother-in-law’s (BIL) family, I am a green saint. Often times I feel that we have to cut back more to offset the waste my BIL’s family generates.
We have been overwhelmed with the stuff that they are tossing out – two-year new convection oven, very gently used kids’ furniture, three-year old golf clubs (I don’t even play the game), and many other random things.
“We don’t need to take all their junk, you know,” my husband reminds me.
“But if we didn’t, all of it would go into the landfill,” I am frustrated. I post the items on Craigslist and Freecycle so someone can use them.
But lately I can’t keep up anymore. Even if we don’t breathe, don’t drink, and don’t eat, we can’t offset their escalated spend. A year ago, they remodeled their home for the 3rd time in ten years. A couple of months ago, they proudly acquired a 47-foot motor boat and flaunted that high gas prices were of no concern to them. This week I have been informed during a “catch up” call that it is their intention that a personal plane will be their next “big ticket” item.
Worst of all, I have to listen to all the bragging. Even their preteen kids are starting to associate everything with a $ value. So knowing it is totally lame, I phone screen the calls. The one-sided avoidance can’t last forever though.
I quit my own imaginary RelativeOffset program, since it has zero chance of working
Whew, it feels great to rant.
But seriously, how do you deal with family members that have starkly opposite values?
CindyW at Organicpicks
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Super Dog!
June 17, 2008
Posted by CindyC in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 6 comments
Flipping through a copy of Consumer Reports at the dentist office, a short article caught my eye on the fortified water boom. In the battle for stomach share, mainstream manufacturers have been adding everything imaginable to the simplest drink on earth. In addition to vitamins, flavor, electrolytes, manufacturers are now adding herbs, weight-loss aides (remember Skinny Water?) and even positive thoughts to “raise consciousness in humanity” (just check out Aquamantra). Of course, this is no surprise given the number of commercials I see for Propel, VitaminWater or SobeLife every time I watch sports. Can’t even imagine what the commercial breaks for the Olympics would be like.
In any case, what topped it off for me was the small mention of fortified water for dogs, FortiFido. Four different flavors of enhanced water for the family pet to promote strong bones, fresh breath, healthy bones and joints. We have a dog and we love her, feed her and exercise her. She’s done just fine drinking plain ol’ tap water. If it’s good enough for her owners, I think it’s good enough for Bailey!
What a crazy world we live in!
End of rant –CindyC at Organicpicks
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Crunchy Chicken exposé
June 6, 2008
Posted by CindyW in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 9 comments
There is supposedly this wonder woman by the name Crunchy Chicken who:
goes to work all day, takes care of two small children, works and harvests her large edible yard, and prodigiously maintains an informational, witty and all around fun green blog.
If you think it takes two people to do all of the above, there is more.
Her husband was diagnosed with a bad bad evil cancer not too long ago. She takes him to the hospital for tests and treatments. And she goes through the unthinkable emotional roller coaster every day.
You say, no way, it would have to take three women? There is still more.
She set up a charity organization Goods 4 Girls to help young women gain access to better menstrual products. Obviously she snapped her fingers and it was done. So she began a fundraiser to raise money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation.
Surely, it would have to take four women to accomplish all those? Well, I am inclined to agree with you. I think it is an out-and-out hoax that there is even such a person – Crunchy Chicken.
What did you say? Oh this is supposed to be a tribute. But you see, the more I chew on it, the fishier the whole things starts to smell. So I am going to make an executive decision to write an exposé.
Breaking news: Crunchy Chicken is most likely a name used collectively by four women.
Yes, of course I did my research. I downloaded Crunchy’s picture from her site and submitted it to a fancy schmancy CSI type of coding-decoding thingamajig. Sure enough, they told me that the picture was a photoshopped composition of four women. Crunchy Chicken is taking advantage of our untrained eyes, people.
If you are into detective work, go back and read “her” posts, don’t be surprised to find writing style inconsistencies and personality differences. See for yourself.
Whew! That was a total relief after the truth presented itself. As I followed along Crunchy’s blog, I was feeling massively inadequate. It took me 6 months from talking about composting to actually dumping food scrap into my backyard bin. It took me a year from hearing about Diva cup to actually using it. Eighteen months went by between when I thought about having an edible garden to actually having one. Etc., etc. You get my drift.
So congratulations to all four of the chickens who have successfully fooled us and made us believe that “she” was just one ecosuperhero.
You know, what each of them does separately is pretty impressive. They don’t really need to create a new identity to make the rest of us all feel like crappy slackers. Just ‘sayin…
*for more about the real Crunchy Chicken, check out reports from arduous, Greenbean, Chilechew, burbanmom, Beth, and beany
CindyW at Organicpicks
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Bizarre Grease Theft
April 7, 2008
Posted by CindyC in : Rants & the Ridiculous , add a comment
Last week, a man was arrested by police for stealing 300 pounds of food grease from a Burger King. Apparently when the restaurant manager approached the man, he quickly stopped siphoning the grease and took off. The manager alerted the police who eventually caught up with him.
The man actually works for a grease collection company but has been cleaning out grease tanks of non-customers. The company declines all knowledge of unlawful siphoning. Police speculates the increase demand (and financial reward) for biofuel was the motive behind the theft. The estimated value of the grease was $405 or $1.35 per gallon.
By the way, this happened on April Fool’s Day. I think it’s pretty clear who is the fool in this incident.
CindyC at Organicpicks
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Real Simple makes life complicated
March 12, 2008
Posted by CindyW in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 8 comments
Spending an extended weekend with a friend’s family up in Tahoe this week. It is here that the theory that I am invincible to colds and flus got completely blown apart. Yep, I am sick, whining and grunting.
Lying on the couch, I finally got tired of watching 12 episodes of The Dog Whisperer. The only magazine I could find in their cabin was Real Simple - Life Made Easier. I thought, “oh, very cool. Simplifying lives. Right on.” Then one of the stories/solutions in the first issue I picked up shattered my image - “just ONE look”, intending to teach readers to have a “pulled together” look. Examples included: a tweed dress for $1,100 and a jacket for $1,140. In my aching state, I muttered: “sure life just got that much simpler if you throw money and buy stuff”.
Too many pairs of shoes? No problem. Buy a huge shoe organizer, with a chic style of course. Problem solved. “Best in show” pets get playing toys, traveling products , sleeping accessories, and extras, like a Nautical raincoat. I have a dog and we love her to death. But we don’t seem to need any of these THINGS. Neither do the pets.
After reading two issues, my life all of a sudden seems too simple and not advice-worthy. Otherwise why do I never need any of these “solutions” from Real Simple. Call it what it is, a shopping catalog for people with a whole lot of disposable income. To simplify your life, you must buy more things. And then the magazine offers tips on how to save money, have more time to relax, and be more organized. Phew! Seriously…
I must be very cranky. I will be back with a less grouchy attitude 
CindyW
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CindyW
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Critter Couture or Crittoure?
November 2, 2007
Posted by CindyC in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 2 comments
I’ve been in a reasonably optimistic mood lately, mainly supported by little changes I’ve noticed, interesting eco-friendly ideas and discovery of new green products. But when I opened an email announcing Juicy Couture’s newest offering, I didn’t know whether to laugh it off or blow a gasket.
Juicy Couture, the company that made velour warm up suits popular again by slapping the word “Juicy” on fashionistas everywhere, launched the first “couture fragrance for the decadent doggie.” In addition to the Pawfum,
the Juicy Crittoure line includes Doggy House Spray, Shampooch and yes, doggy nail polish! As the owner of an active, outdoor loving dog, I just don’t see the necessity of it all. I’ve always used gentle, natural pet products that are reasonably priced and effective. No family or guest has ever mentioned an odor problem. In fact, I’ve even tried a homemade dog shampoo recipe that uses common household ingredients and costs only a few dollars.
So instead of spending $60 on Juicy Pawfum, how about making your own dog shampoo? It is effective and costs just a fraction of the store bought shampoos. Simply mix one pint of gentle dishwashing soap (like Seventh Generation or Ecover), one pint of apple cider, one pint of water and 4 ozs of glycerine (available at any pharmacy). Shake well in a sealable container, like an old gallon milk jug. The mix will smell a tad vinegary but the vinegar helps control odors, naturally.
With all the woes in the world, including the recent forest and community devastation in Southern California, I’m sure we can all find a better use for our $60, including:
- Donation to the Red Cross to help the 2000 families displaced by the wildfires or organizations like Arbor Day to plant new trees to replace the ½ million acres of devastated forests.
- Renewable energy certification or carbon offset tag to neutralize your footprint and support clean energy projects or reforestation.
- 3 month trial subscription to a local CSA (community support agriculture). For about $20 a month, you can get a bushel of fresh and organic produce and support local farms. That can be enjoyed by the whole family and your pooch.
- Service from greendimes for you and 3 other friends to stop junkmail and save some trees for your dog to mark its territory on.
That’s my $60 worth of thoughts today….
CindyC at Organicpicks
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Will ridiculous bottle water marketing schemes ever end?
September 19, 2007
Posted by CindyW in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 3 comments
I came across an absurd full-page ad in a magazine, titled “Our new Eco-Shape bottle is getting quite a reaction”.
In the picture a young man is standing next to a tree and chugging a bottle of Arrowhead water. The CREEPY part is that his shoulder is being patted by a tree branch. “Good job! Thanks to people like you, the plastic waste is now eco-shaped.” PLEASE! The ad is making me nauseous.
The ad claims that the new “Arrowhead Eco-Shape” bottle uses 30% less plastic. That maybe true, since I have no way to substantiate or disprove it. But, label the bottled water eco-shape? If this is not an unadulterated form of green-wash, then I don’t know what is! Unfortunately there are as many ploys of selling tap water as ways of greenwashing products.
How about drink out of your tap water - filter or not, for free? No need to label yourself eco, because you are.
Related posts:
Myth and Reality of Bottled Water
Reusable Sigg Bottles
CindyW at Organicpicks
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Another Water Selling Ploy: Skinny Water
August 24, 2007
Posted by CindyC in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 1 comment so far
I was browsing through the local paper at the doctor’s office when a brief mention of this product, Skinny Water, caught my eye. Skinny Water comes in a shapely plastic bottle and is touted as a NATURAL appetite suppressant. Huh? Do they mean if you drink a lot, you won’t be hungry? Always on the lookout for the curious, I googled Skinny Water when I came home.
First of all, the site gives absolutely NO nutritional information. The only “ingredient” I can glean from the picture was Super CitriMax; I couldn’t even make out the other listed ingredient. I had to look it up on Amazon to find that it is “artesian water” sourced from Croatia with Super CitriMax dissolved in it. OK, so apparently Super CitriMax is hydroxycitric acid, a plant derivative and popular ingredient in natural weight loss drug (an oxymoron if you ask me). It’s been clinically proven by a random, double blinded trial done on 90 obese people. Yup, very impressive and large trial indeed. And guess how much the product costs? About $6 for a six pack at Super Target – more than just any other run-of-the-mill bottled water since it has a Super additive. Up until now, I thought Aquafina’s Hydro-7 ,”a rigorous, seven step purification process” to purify water from public sources (aka tap water), was the most ridiculous marketing ploy. Skinny Water now is the reigning champion!
CindyC at Organicpicks
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Related Posts on bottled water:
Labeling Bottled Tap Water Source
Myth and Reality of Bottled Water
Copyright 2007 Organicpicks
Calories, Fat & Carbon Count in Your Potato Chips
August 2, 2007
Posted by CindyC in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 1 comment so far
In addition to the low carbon diet, carbon calculators, potato chips (or “crisps” for the Brits) is the latest product to show their carbon footprint. In July, Walkers (division of Frito Lays) has rolled out a carbon label on all 13 flavors of its potato crisps in the UK. This effort is in partnership with The Carbon Trust.
According to Walkers for a bag of Cheese & Onion Crisps, total CO2 impact for a standard bag of crisps is 75 g (or 0.165 lbs) with breakdown of:
-Raw Materials: 44%
-Manufacture: 30%
-Packaging: 15%
-Distribution: 9%
-Disposal (of empty packaging): 2%
The Carbon Trust label displays the carbon impact and the company’s commitment in continuing to reduce that impact. Other companies like Boots (maker of beauty products) and Innocent Drinks, along with 150 other UK companies, have pledged interest or commitment to the program. The program also hopes to raise consumer awareness and influence purchasing decisions to encourage more businesses to focus on their environmental impact.
With the label, a consumer can compare similar products or even different ones like Walkers Crisps to a (250ml) bottle of Innocent Mango & Passion Fruit Smoothie with total CO2 impact 294 g (or 0.65 lbs of carbon).
Overall, I think it’s an interesting initiative and if it promotes businesses to take action, I’m all for it. However, at least for me, the whole onslaught of carbon calculation and offsets is getting a bit confusing. Out of curiosity, I did a little searching and a carbon equivalent comparison. According to epa.gov, average household of 2 generates about 5.5 lbs of CO2 equivalent daily (or 2,020 lbs annually) from household trash. If each person in that same household consumed 8.5 bottles of Innocent Drinks Smoothies per day, they would match their household waste footprint. On the flip side, if this same household somehow offset its waste emission through recycle, reuse and compost, a mere 3,100 bottles of Innocent Drink will negate the effort. Don’t mean to be a contrarian but right now, I’m just trying to working through all these carbon calculations….
CindyC at Organicpicks
*P.S. I have nothing against Walkers or Innocent - I commend them for their efforts. They were just handy examples for my rant today.
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Not a plastic bag or not a smug twat?
July 26, 2007
Posted by CindyW in : Rants & the Ridiculous , 4 comments
A friend of mine, who is not particularly fluent in all the new-fangled green trends, had coffee with me the other day. She mentioned that she got forwarded the news about some designer bags selling out like there were no other bags in the world (with the “I am not a plastic bag” print). She commented that though she was not that connected with the current
green movement, this bag phenomenon made her think it was no more than a fad. “Like all fads, it probably will just fade in time,” she concluded.
I see her point, completely. Lately the non-stop launching of new “green” products seems to speak much more about making opportunistic financial gain than making real changes to be green. My cousin Anne has an obsession with bags. She has more than 200 bags, most of which have not seen the daylight since being purchased. She bought the “I am not a plastic bag” bag not because she would ever use it. She fought to the front of the line because she loved the designer. Now the bag sleeps in her closet with the other 200. I highly doubt that she is unique. Some people may argue that the bag displays a green message. Sure, but all reusable bags carry the same message, including the “I am not a smug twat” bag .
Better yet, the very action of actually using your reusable bags at the stores speaks even greater volume. It has been stated by more than a handful of people that green consumerism is still consumerism. Have we lost the true purpose of being green?
My neighbor Jim and Beth never struck me as green until I paid a visit to their home. Right away I spotted the line-dried sheets basking in the sun in their backyard. They love to cook but they refuse to acquire oversized ovens. Jim and Beth don’t have a solar system on the roof, because their electricity consumption is so low that a solar sales rep told them not to do it. Almost every week, they walk to our local farmer’s market with an eclectic assortment of canvas bags, collected from conferences, pledges, fund raiser events. They certainly do not own even one “I am not a plastic bag” bag. Jim and Beth have been quietly living green for 20 years. They don’t have a need to shout “Look, I am green” from the rooftop. This is simply their lifestyle.
Perhaps in the flurry of “green” product acquisitions, we should really sit back and admire people who live a green life quietly without a book deal, a bumper sticker, or new buzzwords. Maybe, then we will find the real meaning of being green. Just my humble opinion.
CindyW at Organicpicks
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