Happy hour addiction
June 30, 2008
Posted by CindyW in : Green Journal , trackback
“Mommy, mommy, are we going to have a happy hour this Friday?” my daughters regularly ask me whenever the weather is reasonably nice. They are six and three, a tad shy of the drinking age. Apparently several of our neighbors’ toddlers ask the same question. In case you are gasping, let me assure you that these children have not developed any taste for alcohol.
It all started on a warm Friday evening three years ago. One of my neighbors M decided to set up a folding table on her driveway, with a couple of bottles of wine, a jug of freshly sqeezed and mixed lemonade, a plate of crackers and a bowl of pretzels. On the ground were a few toys and a pack of chalk.
We were on our way home from a walk, with a toddler, a new born and a puppy in tow. M flashed a friendly smile and invited us for a drink. Before that evening our interactions were limited to “hello-isn’t-the-weather-grand”. A glass of wine later we learned that her little baby was a month older than my newborn, she loved the color red, her husband had six brothers, and much more.
Then more neighbors walked by and stopped to have a drink of just a chat. Within a couple of hours, we began to know each other - our names, kids’ ages, favorite local hangouts, and naturally our beverage preferences. Turned out we had twelve children within four years of age on our short block.
Thanks to M, the Neighborhood Happy Hour (TM) was born. From then on, about six families on our block have taken turns to host the NHH most Fridays in the summer. Kids look forward to playing with each other way past their bed time on those evenings.
(courtesy of http://www.nyfolklore.org/>
And you ask, so what? You guys have drinks together now and then. Big deail.
Well the big deal is that we’ve gotten to know each other well enough to ask for favors, loads of favors. Unaccustomed to asking help from others, I began to see that being able to ask from and lend a hand to each other formed the basic frabric of a close-knit community.
Need to run a quick errand without the kids? We watch each other’s children.
Need a circular saw one or twice but don’t want to buy one? We know where to borrow.
Need a ride to the train station or airport? I have offered several times and haven’t failed to find one yet.
Too busy to go to farmers’ market? No problem. I can bring you back a few pints of strawberries and two bunches of yellow beets.
Want to read National Geographic, Economist, and People but don’t want to to subscribe to them all? We swap magazines.
Need fresh oregano, basil an dparsley for that pasta dish you are making? No need to run to the store. The herbs in the planter box in my front yard are yours to take.
Can you water my plants when we are away for a week? Take out our trash and recycling bin? Done.
It’s easy to put a dollar value on a real estate property based on its location, its size, and its improvements. How do you assign a number to the closeness, friendliness, and helpfulness of neighbors? I don’t know, but it sure feels like that my house is worth 50 percent more.
While a little alcohol kick-started our little community, there are other approaches, believe it or not. Greenbean organized a buying group and a green book club.
Here are a few other suggestions from Norhwest Earth Institute:
- Start making short and simple contacts - Borrow milk or hand tools, ask for planting advice if you see a nice garden
- Make yourself accessible - Relax on your front porch, play games in the front yard.
- Work in the garden - It is one of the best ways to meet your neighbors.
- Start a babysitting coop - It works if you have young children (I have some reservation on this one because I have seen many “formal” babysitting coops. I get a headache just to see the agreements everyone has to sign, given our litigious society).
- Start a bulk product/service buying club - Greenbean is ahead of the curve. She can probably provide more detail.
- Throw a block party a few times a year - Apparently annual events are not frequent enough to keep people in touch.
- If all fails, entice neighbors with alcohol - Okay, this one is all mine.
CindyW at Organicpicks
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Comments»
That’s awesome! Although it will be super funny (and a bit embarrassing) when one of the kids teachers calls home and asks about happy hour. “Jr. is saying he just loves happy hour. Mrs. Organic Needle, I think we need to talk.”
Oops. Sorry.. I mean Mrs. Organic Picks (I read one right after the other…)
This is really great. I want to live in a neighborhood like that!
That is so awesome! It’s amazing what a little alcohol can do for a community.
Wow this sounds great! I’m wondering how I can do something similar here…we live in a townhouse so don’t have a yard or a porch, but I bet I can come up with something. We’ve been here for over a year now and I know the first name of exactly two neighbors…and nothing else about even those two. Sad, isn’t it?
That is an awesome idea! I’ve never thought of setting up a card table with drinks but it would totally work.
In my old neighborhood, we played bunco monthly and had an annual 4th of july block party. We knew everyone on the block, could ask a favor for any thing you might imagine and had more friends than we knew what to do with.
I love this post! Why? Because I truly believe that community is the answer to our current dilemma - surviving climate change, living through peak oil, reducing our footprint and becoming happier, more well rounded folks.
Awesome ideas and very easy to implement.
Heather: funny you said that. One of my daughters’ friends have asked to come to our happy hour. Apparently my daughter has been advertising around
Words haven’t gotten to the administration yet. I am waiting for that phone call…
Chile: Maybe you can move to NorCal, just a bit more water than where you are, not much though
arduous: Isn’t it funny that many of us have so much inhibition that has to be dissolved by a bit of spirit?
GB: Having a community like this is just so fun too!
Hey ya’ll, I am still traveling. It’s proven to be difficult to access the internet, given our traveling schedule and the internet availability. I have not been able to visit you guys. Looks like there will be a lot of reading for me when I get home!
Melissa: thanks for visiting. I can’t credit myself for the NHH(TM)
My neighbor now a good friend was able to pull it off because she had the most inviting smile and the friendliest attitude. The other thing we think is to find commonality first. In our case, we all have small children. In other cases, people may have home improvement projects, or gardening hobbies, etc. Seems that it just takes one person to start it. Love to hear how you get your NHH started 
Oh, I LOVE it. This is what community building is all about! What a fantastic thing!
I live in an apartment complex now and I’ve gotten to know a few others that live here down at the pool, the “regulars” down there like we are. But people are so closed off from one another.
I would adore having something like this!
This is one of the main reasons we love where we live. People often ask me how I feel about raising kids in NYC. What you are describing here is exactly what makes it work for us. (Okay…and the amazing food.) We have a similar community right within our building! Since we have a communal playground it is hard not to share lives. I really don’t know how people manage to remain sane while raising kids in isolation.
Rachel: It may only take one person to change all that
It’s always difficult to be the first person though.
Orgie: You are so lucky. Everytime I rarely think of NYC as a friendly place for raising children. Guess it all depends on where in the city you live and what community you are living in. Thanks for giving me a new perspective on NYC.
Sigh- my old neighborhood was just like that. The one I live in now is not. The people next door do not speak english, and so are naturally shy or mistrusting of us. THe guy on the other side is a self proclaimed hermit. The folks across the street can’t say two words without a racist, rightwing comment thrown in. There is some hope. THe newleyweds two houses away- recycles- CHECK, has a sign stating that their backyard is a wildlife sanctuary. CHECK. THe couple across the street with the new baby, Yard waste bin CHECK, Walk their dog (apparently great distances) CHECK. So hopefully the Checks will add up into some good friendships! Just waitining for somwone to need a skilsaw!
Rob: you certainly have some eclectic neighbors if not inviting. But the newlyweds and the couple across the street sound promising
One of our neighbors has a herb garden in their front yard with a sign - take as much as you want but leave some for others. Now that’s a good sign for an excellent neighbor. Maybe you can leave your jams? Hmmm, maybe people will get suspicious. Sigh.