Batter blaster, you call this food?
January 8, 2008
Posted by CindyW in : Fresh Look , trackback
Pancake whiz anyone? Waffle batter in a whip cream can? Shake, squirt and cook? Intriguing or disturbing. Over at Treehugger, a couple of people are enamored with the batter-in-a-can. They say, don’t knock it until you try it.
Now that I have tried it, I have earned the right to knock it. And knock it I will…
My friend Paul dropped by this weekend, bearing a gift – a spray can of “Organic Batter Blaster”. Seeing Paul’s smirk as he handed me the “gift”, I knew he wanted to watch and laugh at my reaction. Well, in terms of its reason for existence, it is on par with a butter stick or a toilet paper folder. Seriously.
A closer look at the can reveals that it is USDA organic and it contains no CFCs – chlorofluorocarbons that were widely used in hair spray cans and bore big holes in our ozone layer. Thank goodness that the pancake batter does not cause further ozone depletion. But why should it even be remotely related to my pancakes to begin with? Eek! And the USDA organic label? That’s just sheer embarrassment. Is this the moment that organic label has truly lost its meaning?
Why am I so irked by this useless invention? Partly because it epitomizes our estranged relationship with food, partly because it serves no purpose other than wasting our resources (steel and plastic), and partly because this product is simply esthetically tasteless (no pun intended). Are we so obsessed with fast food that we cannot even mix 5 ingredients together? My 5 year old can make a decent pancake mix without much help.
Some may argue that time is of essence in the morning. I get that. Every morning, I have to get 2 toddlers clothed and fed before sending them to school on time. How about making a few extra pancakes or waffles when you whip up a batch on weekends and freeze them? Cheap, fast and not involving a spray can.
I am not done yet. The other ghastly offense the batter blaster has committed is its less than adequate taste, in texture or flavor. In my weak moments, I might forgive this utter lunacy if it actually tasted gourmet.
With this poorly formulated pancake mix squirted out of a can, I really think the company should just go a step further and put a heating nozzle on it. Imagine your family sitting at the table in the morning. Turn on the battery operated spray can and squirt instantly cooked pancake mix into their mouths. That will surely qualify as an earth-shattering progress in human ingenuity.
CindyW at Organicpicks
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Comments»
What in the world!?! I’m happy to see that I’ve honestly never seen such a thing in person (nor the toilet paper holder or butter stick). Are we really so well off and so bored that we can do nothing more than to come up with useless, wasteful inventions? And to try and sell it as healthy because it is “organic”, well that’s just junk. That’s for knocking it on our behalf.
It is hard to imagine how a food “product” could distance it’s consumers any further than it’s true ingredients. How hard is it to measure a little flour and crack an egg? And to think of what it teaches our children about where our food comes from. Yikes!
Just when I thought Jimmy Dean chocolate chip pancakes & sausage on a stick was the most kitschy food…
Farmers should take stock - grow Mickey mouse shaped squash, you are golden.
That is just wrong on SO MANY LEVELS! Michael Pollan would be appalled. If people don’t have time to make pancakes on weekday mornings, they should stick to cereal. This is such a waste!
And thanks for posting the link to the toilet paper folder. Now, that DOES look like a useful invention. It would be good in a meditative sort of way. Pulling off and folding toilet paper with my own hands is too fast! The toilet paper folder is slow. Makes you watch every sheet go by. Makes you contemplate all the trees that died so you can wipe your butt. So it uses up a little extra electricity. It’s worth it to savor each moment of toilet paper folding goodness, don’t you think? (Imagining what fun my cats would have with it, too.)
Uh oh, where’s my tongue? Oh, there it is. In my cheek!